My maternal grandmother passed away suddenly last Thanksgiving Monday. I experienced all kinds of emotions when I witnessed her suffering in the ER. I felt horrible and helpless as I watched her in pain.

It's rare that I'll post something that I've written in my own private journal, but I feel that posting this will help me gain closure.

Grandma,

I hope you enjoyed your life despite all the hardships you endured. I hope you are at peace and are with Grandpa once again. I hope you're happy and safe and no longer in pain.

I'm so sorry Grandma, that I didn't see you as often as I should have. I'm sorry that I didn't practice speaking Fukienese more, so that I could talk with you more. I'm sorry that I took you for granted, that you would always be there on the couch, watching Chinavision and offering us grandkids food and drink, be it noodles, candy, or cans of pop. I'm so sorry.

Thank you for keeping the family together and for always loving us no matter what. Know that we love you and always will remember you with fondness.